Been a while since I posted but I needed to get this down. it's June 21st and the baby is 37 weeks (I think), His (yes it's a boy) head is down and he is estimated to be 5lbs 8oz. We have a date for July 17th but technically the kid could be here tomorrow if he wanted.
My wife and I have been to all the classes. "Baby makes 3", "Breastfeeding and you" etc. We've had the tour of the hospital area where we will be staying. We moved from my one bedroom condo to a raised ranch house(3 bedrooms, 1 1/2 baths, big basement). We've had 2 showers for the baby and have tons of clothes, basic baby supplies, blankets, etc. Furniture(crib, dresser, rocker, etc) has been purchased and we are just waiting for delivery and assembly.
I'm both very excited and scared out of my mind. The most unfortunate thing is the money situation. We haven't been able to find someone to rent my old condo yet and paying for two mortgages is starting to pull on my savings. If we don't find someone soon, I may have to try selling the place for way less than it's worth and risk paying off the rest out of pocket, which could drain all my accounts (damn real-estate economy).
The only thing that gives me pause is that last week I finally got to feel my son move in my wife's body. For some reason I haven't been able to actually feel him until now. Every time I felt around her growing belly, I couldn't feel him, though my wife could. It's strange how that one little thing finally made it all hit me. THERE IS SOMETHING IN THERE! It's not that I didn't believe it, but it's like the old thinking when relating to something. It's not real unless you can actually touch and feel it. It's almost relatable to God. Everything tells you that something is there, but if you can't see it or feel it, how do you know it's really there? I love having that knowledge. But inevitably once you have one question answered, 3 more take it's place. I don't really know all the answers but I have a few to those questions. Some are good and some are bad, but I'm dealing with them best I can.
The worst about the whole thing is my family. My wifes family is still so accepting of our marriage and being together. Her mom is flying out in July to help us with the birth and caring for the baby when it's born for most of the month. She is so great and has been the best Mother-in-Law I could have ever hoped for. My family on the other hand has been fighting with us the whole time. It's emotionally and physically exhausting. I've been nothing but supportive in my families needs for years. My sister's relationships, marriages, their kids and all the responsibilities of a big brother and uncle. As well as doing all I can to help my parents now that they are getting on in years and helping anyway I can. Now when I need their help they are treating me like I'm unwanted garbage that they can't get rid of. I really don't understand how they can be so cruel to me. After all I have sacrificed for them and done to help them in their lives, why are they so against helping me?!
So I married the girl they didn't want. So I planned a secret-surprise wedding without them. IT'S NOT THEIR LIFE... it's MY LIFE DAMMIT!!!
WOW. It feels good to put that out of my head.
Anyway, moving on. I'm slowly getting the house ready and trying to keep it clean and organized, though my wife's unfortunate cluttered-messiness isn't helping. She's so tired now and has lacking spurts of energy. The worst part is that she still puts so many tasks on her plate that she can't handle. She still thinks big when she needs to think small and we have less time than she thinks. I'm trying to be supportive and be there for her but with work everyday and my less time on the weekends, makes it very difficult to keep my head up.
I love my wife so much and I'm really happy about how things are going, but I'm no fool. Things are going to get so crazy when the baby gets here and I need to be ready. I just wish things would stabilize enough that I can get things done on and around the house, so that when the little guy gets here, we can focus all our energy on him and nothing else gets in the way.
I'll try to update as time goes by but I'm going to be really busy. So Happy 4th to you all and wish me luck. \
Shit...I'm gonna be a Dad!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
