Avoiding creating a spoiled brat!

The biggest fear a parent can have besides the safety of their offspring, is the raising of the child to NOT be a spoiled little brat.
  This is a process that is not done overnight. It takes not just discipline of the child but also of the parents. You have to be willing to be an adult and teacher to your child, in addition to being a friend and confidant.
 If you want to have a child that will not only listen to what you say but also show respect to their teachers, relatives, friends and family, you have to be willing to teach it to them and set an example. They say it takes a community to raise a child, but that community starts with the parents. You can be your childs best friend, but a friend also knows when to pull their friend back from going to far. A true friend stops their friend from making a mistake they will regret.  Parents are the best friend a child can have. You have been alive and experienced life, while the child has not.
 It is you who has to help them learn the proper way to act and allow them to learn from their mistakes. This means you have to take on the responsibilities of not only a friend but guardian.
  So take some helpful advice and learn the right way to do that.
Here's some tips...

Say no...often. Practice delayed gratification and simply not always giving your children what they want, even if you can easily afford it. 

Expect gratitude. Go beyond teaching your child to say please and thank you. Also teach them eye contact, a proper hand shake, affection and appreciation for the kind and generous things that are said and given to them. If this does not happen, have them return the gift (either to the person or to you for safe keeping) and explain that they aren't yet ready to receive such a gift.

Practice altruism yourself. Donate clothes and toys to those in need (not just to your neighbors when it's easy and they have younger children!) and have your kids be a part of that process. Do this regularly as a family and sort through, package and deliver the goods together so the kids really see where their things are going. Do this often and not just around the holidays.

Be mindful of the company you keep. If you only hang around other affluent families who are not raising their kids with intention, you may be surrounding yourself with those who will not help out with what you are trying to accomplish. Be sure family or friends you are spending significant time with have similar values to yours, otherwise you are going to feel defeated after a while.

Write thank you cards. Yes, handwritten on paper with a pen! Kids these days generally have shorter attention spans, are easily distracted and aren't taught to take careful time and attention to express their appreciation. This simple yet important act can go a long way as a skill to teach expression of feelings and thoughtfulness.

Don't catch every fall. Practice natural consequences from an early age — share some of your own experiences and teach them lessons such as "life is not fair." In addition, don't over-protect them from disappointments. You have to really understand and believe that failing and falling is a part successful childhood development.

Resist the urge to buy multiples of things. Just because you can doesn't mean that you should! Don't buy four American Girl Dolls—buy just one and have your child loveand appreciate what they have.

Talk to their grandparents and explain your intentions to them. Share with them your desires to have respectful, appreciative, kind and responsible children and the ways in which you are going to achieve that goal. You will need their help in doing this if they are like most grandparents who want to spoil their grandkids! Ask them to spoil them with love, time, affection and attention—not toys, treats and money.

Teach them the value of money. Have your child manage their money through saving, giving to charity/others and then spending.  If you do this from an early age you are truly setting a foundation of responsible wealth management.

Share your story. Last but not least, you should tell your kids the legacy of your family's fortune. When I say wealth or fortune, that is all relative. If you come from significant wealth tell the story of how that was earned and created. If you are self-made, tell that story too—just don't forget that "giving your kids everything that you didn't have" is not always a good thing. There is probably a lot that you learned along the way by stumbling to make you the person you are today.

Parenting Advice: The Parenthood Style That Raises Humble Kids | Dr. Sheryl Ziegler | YourTango:
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Thriving While Parenting a Toddler | Andrea Nair

Need some tricks to improve toddler cooperation? Here are my suggestions for things to do instead of using punishment with young children:

Do not pose instructions as a yes/ no question. "Do you want to put your shoes on?" will often get a reply of "NO!" Use an "it's time to..." statement. "It's time to put your shoes on."

Do not use the word "OK" when giving instructions. Throwing "OK?" with a high-pitched tone turns your instruction into a yes/no question.

Try using races (if your child likes that). "Let's see if you can get into your car seat before I count to 10!"

Be creative and/or gross with everyday tasks. For example, "There's a fire in the potty! Who can put it out?!" Sound effects and silly faces are extra cool.

No surprises! Announcements like, "OK, it's time to go," may result in an hour of yelling. Use transition signals and warnings.

Find a way to give directions in a way that doesn't feel coercive. Instead of "Wash your hands," try, "everyone with clean hands can sit down to eat."

Invest time in them. Your child needs your undivided attention more than anything else. Undistracted, on-the-floor time (cell phone/computer/TV off) every day will help form a secure attachment.

Routine, routine, routine. A predictable order of things at a consistent time reduces yelling. Ask her to help you create a morning or bedtime routine and then make a chart using simple drawings to post on the fridge.

Reduce compromisers. Take care of hunger, sleep needs and overstimulation.

Get used to being a broken record. It might take hundreds of repeats of "Hitting is not OK. Let's hit the chair instead when we feel full of anger." These directions will eventually sink in.

Toddler-proof the entire house. The more thoroughly you toddler-proof your house, the less you will have to convince them to not climb on, pull down, or get into things that will hurt them.

NEVER say "HURRY UP!" This will make your child slam into slow motion. There is a deep instinct in all of us called counterwill. If a child feels he has lost control, he will be compelled to do the opposite. Try hard to not be in a rush yourself.

Don't ask your child to stop yelling. He is yelling because he is likely angry or scared. Give him a safe place to get it all out. Yelling into pillows, sweaters or his elbow allows him to resolve his feelings.

Learn to support your child through a tantrum. Stay nearby, calm and quiet while your child is melting down. Have a tantrum management plan, responding the same way each time freak outs occur.

Try not to take it personally. Even if you feel more equipped to handle fits of yelling, they still might be difficult to go through. Try saying this to yourself during these times, "This child is not trying to hurt me. This too shall pass." I also found it helpful to do slow, long breathing.

Thriving While Parenting a Toddler | Andrea Nair:



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